Colin Crosby Heritage Tours

The Joy of Colemanballs

"Private Eye" have published their latest selection of sporting bloopers in book form.

"Colemanballs 14" is the usual collection of things which sporting commentators, as well as sporting practitioners, perhaps didn`t mean to say.

Here are some of the star items from football, which always offers rich pickings.

"For it to be a tight game, Marseilles needed to score first and that never looked likely after Liverpool scored" (Dvid Pleat)

"I`ll bet there are eight teams in the last sixteen who won`t win the competition" (Andy Gray)

"You can`t change a team overnight in a couple of days" (Martin O`Neill)

"Steven Gerrard makes runs into the box better than anyone. So does Frank Lampard" (Jamie Redknapp)

"We`re not as good as we think we are. We need to go out there and prove that" (Steve McClaren)

"Alonso missed a Champions League game when his wife was giving birth to his girlfriend" (Jason Cundy)

"Diouf is a master of the dark art of the winger: draws you in, sucks you off" (Gary Birtles)